The Hungry {Romance} Writer: Guinness Beer & Cheese Sliders

I can’t believe March is here already. It feels like the year is flying by! Since it’s March, and St. Patrick’s Day is in a few weeks, today I’m beginning a short story about when Alex Mitchell (one of the heroes in my romantic suspense Deadly Force series) challenged the other men in the series to a Guinness Cooking Challenge. This means that Alex has set up a cooking contest where the main ingredient is Guinness Beer.

Alex Mitchell ~ “Since Kells got me out of Leedsville Prison, I’ve been stuck here at Iron Rack’s Gym cleaning the locker rooms, doing laundry, and pulling trash out of the tunnels beneath this pirate-themed dump. While I’m allowed to work out, I can’t teach any classes (even though I just beat Vane in a pull up challenge). And I’m not supposed to fight in the boxing ring set up in the center of the gym. Apparently I’m too violent and anti-social due to all the years I spent in solitary.

Anyway, since our fearless leader Kells Torridan thinks I need something to occupy my time and keep me focused, he put me in charge of Operation Forced Fun. Basically, I have to organize movie night and other fun adventures for my buddies. Although, honestly, there’s not much to do here in Savannah since none of us have much money and we all hate bowling. When the weather is nice, we can play basketball in the parking lot of the abandoned service station down the street. Ty and Cain salvaged a portable basketball hoop and attached it to the old Texaco sign. (I have no idea how they did that). 

But since that has been the extent of our fun, which is as lame as it sounds, I’ve come up with the perfect event for March. Last year, Zack Tremaine set up a whiskey challenge where we each had to make a meal using whiskey as one of the main ingredients. I made my famous Bourbon Burgers, which should have won. Except the women who were judging chose Garza’s Bourbon & Bacon Chili–probably because he got the women out of a troublesome situation with a group of mimes during one of their Ladies Night Out. So, as far as I’m concerned, the judges were bought and can’t be trusted.

Now I want a rematch. That’s why I’m naming March as the month of the Guinness Challenge. Every week in March, one of the men (including myself) will make a recipe where Guinness Stout beer is a primary ingredient. Of course there are rules to this event. First, since we know the female judges (wives, girlfriends, fiancees, & Vane’s nana) can be bought, I’m not asking them to judge. So I’m making our XO, Nate Walker, the judge. Nate is such a straight-up guy, no one would dare try to sway him. 

The second rule is that none of the men who enter my contest can ask for, or receive, help from the women in our lives. Not wives, fiancees, girlfriends, Vane’s nana, or random women who seem to follow Ty around. The third rule is no one can accept help from Calum Prioleau. Even though he owns our gym, and is the richest man in town, no one is allowed to ask Calum for any favors, no matter how small. The fourth rule is that all of the recipes have to be made in our upstairs kitchen or on the grill on our back patio. And by upstairs kitchen, I mean the closet on the second floor of the gym that consists of a hotpot, a slow cooker, and the toaster oven that Nate scrounged from the garbage behind Screamin’ Perks coffee shop down the street.

Now that the rules are set, I’m making the first contest meal. Yes, I know that Vane (the unit’s PIA know-it-all) is annoyed. But it’s my challenge, and I decide who gets to enter and when they get to make their meal. Although I don’t have a lot of time, because I just thought about this plan, tonight I’m making my famous Guinness Beer and Cheese Sliders.

Since the women are annoyed at my decision to leave them out of the judging process, I still need to entice them to come. Especially, Sarah Walker (Nate’s wife). Because if she’s happy, Nate will be happy. And a happy Nate may just choose me as the winner. But, to make sure the women are happy, I did something I never believed I’d ever do. I got myself a library card (I did need Calum’s help with this since I don’t have a valid ID) and borrowed their karaoke machine. I had no idea that libraries had karaoke machines available to borrow, but I snagged one. And it was free!

So now that dinner is cooking, I’m cleaning the back patio (which is more of a concrete square with stray azaleas and a sad palmetto tree along the edges). I’ve got the folding tables up, with paper tablecloths (leftover from a party the women a few months ago that I found in a storage cabinet) and matching paper plates and napkins. Once the sun sets, I’ll crank up the karaoke machine. You see, I have a great voice. And I know the women love karaoke (hence the problem with mimes that Detective Garza had to resolve). Between a fabulous meal and great music, I’m sure to win. I have to go now because Vane–and his self-righteous frown–is lurking around the patio. I swear, if he even mentions the pink flamingos on the tablecloths and paper plates, I’m going to hit him. Then I’m going find Allison Pinckney, Zack’s fiancee, and ask if her girlfriend Maddie Ashton can come. It’s not a big deal, but I would like to see her again. Just don’t tell my buddies. If they find out, they’ll never stop teasing me. And I’d hate to have to challenge them all to a round in the fighting ring.”

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